i really have to thank janice and the team of project dreamers for making this trip possible and so meaningful, enjoyable and memorable. And i'm really glad that i decided to join this team though i was alone. Honestly speaking, I didnt have much expectations to begin with before i went for this trip. All i thought of was to spread some joy to the kids there cuz all along i had imagined that they were living in extremely bad conditions and were pitiful souls there. The kids there dont even possess a certificate of birth! But, during this trip, i realised i was that pitiful soul. The people there enjoyed life and were doing things to make themselves happy everyday (at least its what its seems). Every morning, kids will be running all over the place coupled with loads of laughter. While neighbours will congregate with their children and sit around along the road chatting. I feel sorry for Beejay though, this girl whose father ran away, abandoning his wife and daughter. Beejay now stays with one of the neighbour's family alone since her mother had to work thus she only sees her mom once a week. I just hope that she's less sensible so that she wont realise the cold hard truth of her staying with the neighbour alone. btw, she extremely pretty! she looks like a hawaian!! There's one family i know who just gave birth to a few months old baby who took in another couple and their children cuz the latter had no place to stay. FYI, this family's house is miserably small and pathetic. Let's see..what would a typical singaporean respond? "Go stay in hotel lah! i know of cheap cheap hotel. HOtel 81 super cheap! you can stay there!"
I think that its not so much of the inborn nature of singaporeans to be egocentric and to be cold and unfeeling towards others. But its more of being forced into this situation by the setting we are in. Because we're so self-sufficient and self-contented in our own little HDB/Condo unit that we do not see the need or want to get out of our comfort zone to interact with our neighbours. So much for URA and the GOvernment trying all they can to create identity and belongingness to their community. I think one wouldnt even miss as much the days in their old homes/their neighbours should they be able to move house.
Enough of that, I would like to express my utmost admiration for the teachers teaching in Paaralang Pantao. They, who gave their self-less dedication and tireless teachings to the kids and also residents in Erap City and Payatas. I tried asking myself whether i could give up everything to stay in the dumpside area just to provide the kids there with some education. I realised my answer was quite immediate and it was no. /shame on myself. *pui* One major disadvantage is that i do not know tagalog, otherwise i guess i would be able to know more of their thoughts and also allow them to know more of mine. I can still totally remember Michael Anthony, this student of mine, squatting infront of the green bean seeds and tugging my shirt speaking to me in tons and tons of tagalog which i understand none of the sentences. Not to forget his pair of doggy-eyes looking up at me. After a while, i got Cassy to translate a part of lil part of what he said to me. At that point in time when Cassy told me what Michael said, i couldnt control my emotions no more. tears immediately filled my eyes and since my eyes are small, they cant contain those tears. it was quite an embarrassing sight. but anyways, Michael was asking me whether i would leave him once the beans grow up and he asked for more seeds so that the process will be longer. (ok, i'm feeling damn emo-nemo even now. *rahhhs*) this made me realise how shallow, brief and useless this visit of ours really is. I'm feeling quite frustrated with myself now cuz i cant think of what else i could actually do for them. (other than satisfying our own selfish desires *rahhhhs-pui-grrrrrr*)
The kids there really respect the school alot. they cleaned themselves well and wore their best clothes for school. There's an incident whereby i couldnt recognise my student, Ronnie, when he was out of school, after class time. He was in tatters and rags. I totally didnt recognise him until he told me his name. And yes, i was quite embarrassed at myself. So i'm really glad that Teacher Baby's mom set up Paaralang Pantao. Its a really great cost and sacrifice but also quite a reward i guess. Again, i need to emphasise. I really have to take my hat off to her and the self-less teachers in Paaralang Pantao. We seem so small beside them. During the trip, i kept asking myself. What do i intend to give? What have i done? I realised i have done nothing. Nothing worth mentioning, in my opinion. In actual fact, i seriously reckon that i took alot more than i gave. They taught me that happiness and laughter could be so damn easy. They taught me that love lingers in the air. They made me feel so loved and i totally didnt feel a tinge of loneliness at all even though i was indeed a stranger in a strange land. strangely beautiful land. ;)
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this is so damn funny! Video about Hot gays and Abercrombie & Fitch. I love their shop and clothes though. especially their poster models. totally infatuated with the poster guy with wavy hair in San Fransico! heeee~
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